One of My New Song Mash-ups

I've given you all some great song mash-ups before. This one's a little different, not quite up to my usual standards, but the beauty in this was how naturally it came to me. What can I say, I'm a professional.

In the course of an email about abscess drainage, I wrote to one of my doctors, "How many setons can one butthole hold?"

And Casey might be able to see where I'm going with this, but as I was writing it, in my head I set it to the tune of the Little Mermaid song "Part of That World":

Look at this trove,
Treasures untold,
How many wonders can one cavern hold? (How many setons can one butthole hold?)

I'll give you a second to recover from my genius.

You're welcome.

Plus Prednisone, Minus IR Morphine

Before the side effects set in and I bite someone's head off, I'll give you fair warning: I'm starting prednisone tomorrow which apparently will do the following to me:

-make me vomit
-bless me with wild, uncontrollable mood swings
-send me into spiraling depression
-make me dizzy and nauseas
-make me sprout pimples and get fatter

I've also gone off my instant release morphine, which has caused the following withdrawal symptoms:

-fevers and chills
-nausea
-restlessness
-pain pain pain pain pain
-general irritability

My presence grows more desirable and enjoyable every day, I know.

PS. I had my fifth Remicade infusion today. Aside from being on the verge of a nervous breakdown because I was terrified that I am going to blow another fistula and need another surgery (as has been the case after every single one of my other infusions), I also had the pleasure of being in the oncology infusion center where cancer patients receive chemotherapy. There were eight of us in the room and I was far and away the healthiest-looking one. It shook me up pretty badly and made me feel awful for them: not the best environment in which to try to generate positive healing thoughts for one's asshole.

When Can I Start Eating Hard Cheeses Again, Doctor?

Never. You're lactose intolerant.

That's right my friends, I was tested today. Crohn's has taken my salads, fruits, and veggies, and now it's taken my hard cheeses.

I haven't felt this emotionally distressed since the Crohn's diagnosis itself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJxMK0RED8M

A Thousand Splendid Suns

I liked it. It was no groundbreaking masterpiece, but it helped ease me back into the reading scene.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog, Anita, Ding, Casey, and Sandy. I know you all can't wait to read about my exciting life.